The Last Song Syndrome 14: Solitude Standing (Suzanne Vega), My Best Friend, My Worst Friend

"I turn to the crowd as they're watching
They're sitting all together in the dark in the warm
I wanted to be in there among them
I see how their eyes are gathered into one."

- Suzanne Vega, "Solitude Standing"


Solitude is probably my best friend. She is always by my side during the darkest moments of my life. No one, save for a very very few people, can beat her to her consistency.

Sometimes, Solitude comes to visit me when I am happy. In this case, I welcome her wholeheartedly, for she allows me to ponder on the profundity of my joy. Most of the time, I do not regret that I have allowed her to accompany me in my moments of happiness.

There are times, however, when I do not want to see her. It is not all the time that I want to be alone. I have been called a loner so many times, but even so, I would love the company of someone with whom I can share even just a singular thought, a common interest, a unified conviction, or a shared passion.

I fear the moment when no one is available when I need to talk. I dread the times when no one recognizes my need to express the contents of my heart (I am not one to coerce people to listen to me). And certainly, I fear the moment when no one is around when I need to communicate because everyone has begun to think that I am strong and can handle things like the way I have been known to be.

(Times change. People do not change much, but reactions do.)

In this case, I come face to face, as always, with Solitude, my best friend, who can easily turn into my worst friend, too.

I think, she has come to see me and stay with me for a few days. Solitude, at present, has assumed the role of being my worst friend. (I hope she leaves me soon. She is definitely not very welcome in my life right now....)