Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Know Of At Least Three Painless Ways To Go ... [Yes, Read On]

... but why should I tell you?

Two of them are kind of tricky to accomplish. You will need easy access to medications.

The other way was taught to me by someone who attempted to go this way ... but failed.

This method is supposedly fool-proof. A small amount of this flavourless and odorless chemical mixed with your favorite drink is enough to make you dizzy on the spot. Some end up sleeping until they ultimately go. Others throw up but that is just about it. Exiting the world cannot be easier and more painless.

For that particular person who told me about this, however, it did not exactly work that way. Obviously so.

As soon as he drank his soda admixed with the killer agent, his mind started blurring. He still had time, however, to send some sms messages to friends. But no, he did not mention anything about his deed to anyone that time.

No one had an inkling then that he had just committed suicide.

Shortly after, he vomitted profusely. he still had the energy to go to the bathroom to puke. He then returned to his bed, feeling very sleepy.

He told me that he had dreams, but nothing scary, nothing nightmarish. I could not exactly remember what he told me.

The limbo-ish state seemed to have lasted forever until ...

... finally, he opened his eyes. He was famished.

He tarried for a while, wondering if he was for real.

He walked towards the door of his house and opened it. Hear his feet lay newspapers. He picked them up. The oldest issue was 3 days old.

He thought: I was asleep for 3 days?

Next thought: Am I really this much of a loser? I actually botched a suicide attempt!

Then another thought: What is the meaning of this?

Perhaps, it seems, this has become one of his purposes in life: to live to tell his tale.

And the whole point of this post is to stress this out: given even the most potent way to kill oneself, a few people simply survive.

Do you ever wonder why suicide attempts materialize for some people and fail for others?

Do you ever sometimes think that, when you are meant to live, while a purpose remains unfulfilled, no bullet can bring you down, and no poison can take your life away?

And when you are meant to go, no amount of hiding nor protection can shield you from the sickle?

Just some mind-boggling thoughts. Have a good day.

A Dark Moment In Recent History, Friendships, and Then Some

The bus of death (Photo from this site.)

Sigh. I have not updated this blog in weeks. Things are happening in rapid succession. The most talked-about (until now!) issue that has recently made an ugly dent on the face of the Philippine diplomatic affairs is the hostage taking in Manila that took place roughly 3 weeks ago.

Actually, there are many more positive events that took place soon after. The Phlippines’ candidate to the Miss Universe pageant, Ms. Venus Raj, bagged the 4th runner-up place. Our artists such as Charice Pempengco and Cecille Licad are doing us proud in endeavours such as the hit musical “Glee” and the silent film on Louis Armstrong titled “Louis”. I can go on and on, trying to obliterate the nightmare of this unfortunate incident that threatens to mar my country’s relationship with China.

Personally, I can only hope that things get better and that people from both side of the fragile fence keep from overreacting. Objectivity and sobriety are what we need right now. Plus, Hong Kong is almost like my second home. I lived in Hong Kong for many months and I have so many fond memories of this wonderful place and of the sincere friends that I had made. So it breaks my heart to see this happening. I love Hong Kong. And even after this crazy hostage-taking incident that cost the lives of 8 Hong Kong and Canadian (Chinese) residents, my good friends in Hong Kong remain level-headed and have assured me of a strong continuing friendship.

It was a most touching gesture from my Chinese friends. You have my respect, admiration, and amity.

So many things taking place too on the personal front. My life, at the moment, circles around a life-changing test that is coming up in less than a month. Please wish me luck.

In the meantime, this blog will continue to exist. Of course I will continue to write. There are just few things more relaxing than writing. Did I hear someone say “Spa!” or was that my doppelganger whispering in my ear?

Ok. Next post please. J