I Know Of At Least Three Painless Ways To Go ... [Yes, Read On]

... but why should I tell you?

Two of them are kind of tricky to accomplish. You will need easy access to medications.

The other way was taught to me by someone who attempted to go this way ... but failed.

This method is supposedly fool-proof. A small amount of this flavourless and odorless chemical mixed with your favorite drink is enough to make you dizzy on the spot. Some end up sleeping until they ultimately go. Others throw up but that is just about it. Exiting the world cannot be easier and more painless.

For that particular person who told me about this, however, it did not exactly work that way. Obviously so.

As soon as he drank his soda admixed with the killer agent, his mind started blurring. He still had time, however, to send some sms messages to friends. But no, he did not mention anything about his deed to anyone that time.

No one had an inkling then that he had just committed suicide.

Shortly after, he vomitted profusely. he still had the energy to go to the bathroom to puke. He then returned to his bed, feeling very sleepy.

He told me that he had dreams, but nothing scary, nothing nightmarish. I could not exactly remember what he told me.

The limbo-ish state seemed to have lasted forever until ...

... finally, he opened his eyes. He was famished.

He tarried for a while, wondering if he was for real.

He walked towards the door of his house and opened it. Hear his feet lay newspapers. He picked them up. The oldest issue was 3 days old.

He thought: I was asleep for 3 days?

Next thought: Am I really this much of a loser? I actually botched a suicide attempt!

Then another thought: What is the meaning of this?

Perhaps, it seems, this has become one of his purposes in life: to live to tell his tale.

And the whole point of this post is to stress this out: given even the most potent way to kill oneself, a few people simply survive.

Do you ever wonder why suicide attempts materialize for some people and fail for others?

Do you ever sometimes think that, when you are meant to live, while a purpose remains unfulfilled, no bullet can bring you down, and no poison can take your life away?

And when you are meant to go, no amount of hiding nor protection can shield you from the sickle?

Just some mind-boggling thoughts. Have a good day.

Suicide As Anything But A Cowardly Act

Forgive me for the rather morbid theme. Suicide as a subject was strutting here and there in my head as I was doing my own shuttling from clinic to clinic one cloudy afternoon.

It is definitely because of the news that I read and watched for a few days in a row. The local news reported suicide: varying reasons, varying methods of killing oneself. So many cases of suicide in these hard stressful time: unlike most cases of mortality, suicide is not exactly identified with a particular age group or social status.

Suicide is treated almost like taboo in this predominantly Catholic country. I am quite sure that many view suicide as an easy way out. Maybe true. Or maybe not.

Perhaps suicide is, contrary to popular opinion, anything but cowardly after all. Let me state this...at least for the sake of discussion.

*****

If a person would like to end his life because the world treated him like shit, is it not more cowardly to physically run away than to look at death in the eye?

Many means of ending one's life are brutal and painful. Not everyone knows, much so have access to the very few ways of taking one's own life painlessly. Is it not a courageous thing to do, for a person to make himself go through gruesome methods of self-mutilation? (Let's not even get started with the pathophysiology of self-afflicted gunshot wounds, or concussions from a fall, or ingestion of poison, or hanging....) If the person thought, "I did not have much of a choice, I'd take anything, even a painful death", doesn't that make him quite brave?

And is it cowardice that drives a person to end his life because he no longer wants to be a burden to his loved ones? Is it not brave of him to take his life, knowing that his family and friend will eventually bear the burden of "... not doing enough to save him"?

Is it frailty of character to commit suicide because it is honestly perceived by that person as the right thing to do? Situations that endanger the lives of many may call for one to give his own life, out of necessity. Is that the way of the weak?

A friend once wrote: what if we realize that suicide is actually the way that was meant for us to get out of this world? Is it criminal, even blasphemous, when a person is so very convinced that God (or any Supreme Being) wants him to leave the physical world by killing oneself ... especially for a particular purpose?

*****

It is almost always difficult to react when we hear of people committing suicide, even more so when we know these people on a personal level. The unenviable situation of being acquainted with the person who took his own life makes for a very traumatic experience, to say to the least. Sometimes, however, we need to try to understand the circumstances and the manner by which the person arrived at the decision to commit suicide. Doing so may prove to be beneficial later on, when we least expect it...

...especially so when we find ourselves, uncannily, in a situation where suicide appears to be an option.