Another Goodbye

I dare not mention the name of a dear friend who passed away a week ago.

She was so low-profile, one who did not want to draw attention to herself. So, no, I will not write her full name nor the circumstances surrounding her death. I will just write that she moved me with her willpower and her strength of character, and I will always remember her for that.

I also remember that she had one of the most beautiful voices that I have ever heard.

She taught our ragtag choir how to sing Handel's "Canticorum Jubilo" and Felipe De Leon's "Payapang Daigdig", both of which we performed during an inter-organization carolfest in the university many moons ago.

We won.

Since then, I have always associated her with both songs. Funny that it seems apt to play both songs once again, now that she has left the physical world.

Most especially, I will never forget that, even when I did not expect her to be around in my times of distress, she was simply, around

[Five people who are dear to me passed away within five years. I do not how I still manage to exist. Love and letting go seem like neighbours uncomfortable with each other's presence. Again, the delicate balance of joy and sorrow....]

Take care, wherever you are. You are thought of with extreme fondness and love forever.

Canticorum Jubilo



Payapang Daigdig

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Post-Mortem Lesson 4: What is Your Friend

I have a mouthful to say about death and friendship. This seems to be a universal phenomenon: when you die, you become a family member to many, and a friend to all. One of the tasks of those who are left behind is to know if they are dealing with a genuine sympathizer or with someone who is simply taking advantage of their grief for self-glorification.

Instances need not be enumerated as they are unique to that particular departed person and situation. It is enough to say that some people can be really exploitative, not knowing their place at all. I have seen so many people fall to this dangerous trap, and I feel so sorry for them. Two years ago it was my turn to be exposed to the same situation and the same people. My decisions regarding the disposition of the dead were questioned and had put me in a not-so-good light. Again, two years later, I find myself in the same scenario.

In moments like these, there are only a few things to remember. Always respect the wishes of the dead. Let not the comments of people affect your decision as long as you know you are right. Know the people who have been truly friends with the dead through thick and thin and recognize their presence and efforts. And in times of indecision, think real hard, search within your mind, heart and soul for answers. Somewhere, they will be there.

For me, this is one of my most challenging post-mortem lessons. That is, in life, as in death, you must know the true friends of your beloved departed.